Experience:260 mg Ketamine (insufflated) - Lost in Paisley
- Date: 08/08/18
- Age: 21
- Sex: Nonbinary transmasculine, 3 months on testosterone
- Height: 5'6" /169 cm
- Weight: 118 kg / 260 lbs
- Misc: In addition to the daily testosterone gel I apply, I take 10 mg aripiprazole and 75 mg venlafaxine nightly, and 150 mg bupropion in the mornings. I did not take my bupropion prior to dosing the ketamine. Six days ago I took 50 mg memantine orally and 60 mg of insufflated ketamine, which, in combination with repeated use of a THC vape, produced strong physical and cognitive euphoria with vivid closed eye visuals. I have used ketamine about six times now, but have yet to experience a “hole”. This was the goal of this attempt. The only other true dissociative I have tried is 3-MeO-PCE, but I have experience with LSD, psilocybin mushrooms, 4-AcO-DMT, 4-AcO-MET, DPT, DiPT, 5-MeO-MiPT, 5-MeO-MET, LSA in the form of hawaiian baby woodrose and Morning Glory seeds, and salvia divinorum.
I dosed around 10 AM. I knew I had work at 4:30 PM, but figured I could slip into a heavily dissociated state and back into reality in time to be functional for work. The first thing that struck me was that I had never done this much ketamine at once before. After my experiments with 3-MeO-PCE, of which I never did more than 35 mg in a session, going back to an arylcyclohexylamine that requires hundreds of milligrams to be taken for the desired effect was a bit overwhelming. Nonetheless, I find a certain there to be a certain romance about insufflation, and once my crystals were powdered and divvied into six roughly equal lines, I dove in.
Almost immediately I felt the numbing and music enhancing effects. I had prepared a playlist specifically for the experience, and started off my morning with Mykki Blanco. After the first line I took a hit from my wax pen, as I had only tried ketamine with THC once before and was eager to explore the combination more thoroughly. My vision began to distort and blur, and the energy of the music I was listening to (Princess Nokia now) felt almost mystical. I noticed that objects in my field of vision - my tablet screen, my hands, my bed - all appeared to be shrinking and warping, and I hoped that I was close to holing.
By this time I had finished the initial 260 mg, but I felt able to go higher, so I redosed without weighing. My plan was to keep bumping until I holed, but this was impeded by the fact that I couldn't get my bag of ketamine open due to my motor control loss.
The timeline here gets a bit fuzzy. Around 10:45 I was peaking, though I maintained enough consciousness to reflect on my experience as it unfolded. I thought of what I knew of John C Lilly and ECCO - very little, admittedly - and thought in that moment that I could understand what it felt like to be in contact with extraterrestrial beings. My vision and motor control were both very shaky at this point, and the view of my bedroom windowsill distorted in perspective. At some point I realized that the dollar bill I had been using as a tube was stained, and that I had had a nosebleed without noticing. I could also tell that my tablet and vape pen needed to charge, and the task of plugging them in seemed monumental. Dragging myself out of bed and half-crawling to my wall outlet felt like an epic journey, the music playing making me feel as if I was in the climax of a film.
At 10:54 I messaged my group chat (who knew I was on ketamine), saying that my tablet was a portal and that I could see “everything.” In the moment, it really did seem like the glowing screen of my tablet was giving off more than light. I felt as though I could see the fabric of the universe underneath all things, a sensation I have experienced previously on 4-AcO-DMT. I remember my vision strobing heavily and noticing how comfortable sitting on the hardwood floor of my bedroom felt. At one point I wrote that I was “lost in the paisley on my backpack”, a reference to the drifting and swirling effect I noticed on the patterns of the fabric.
After this point I started to come down, the intense cinematic feeling of the peak giving way to a dreamy, soft dissociation. I spent the comedown listening to more music and exchanging words with friends over Discord. I fell asleep around noon and woke up at 2:30, feeling groggy but capable of getting out of bed and going to work.
I didn't hole, likely because my tolerance hadn't entirely reset since my last ketamine adventure, but I had a very enjoyable time nonetheless. This was my first time actively trying to communicate with others during a K peak and trying to maintain awareness of my surroundings, which ended up being quite magical-feeling in its own way. In the past, I have felt as though ketamine has broken me down into my lowest composite parts, exposing my subconscious. This feeling remained to an extent, but being more connected with my surroundings even through the haze of dissociation allowed me to revel in the world around me instead of remaining within my own head, so to speak.
I plan to wait a month or so before trying ketamine again, as I want to keep my tolerance as low as possible. Next time I intend to find a time when I can do more immediate reflection afterwards, as I didn't like having to go to work so soon after. I may experiment with an alternate route of administration - I am considering intramuscular if I can familiarize myself enough with the equipment to do it properly. If I go intranasal again I will most likely use a nasal spray, either after insufflation or as a means of dosing liquid ketamine. I also want to experiment more with different media while on ketamine, including videos.
- Physical Euphoria
- Motor Control Loss
- Tactile Suppression - I had a nosebleed without noticing it.
- Double Vision -- In order to read messages or type I had to close one eye.
- Frame Rate Suppression - I described my vision as "strobing".
- Perspective Distortion - Specifically micropsia and teleopsia.
- Anxiety Suppression
- Compulsive Redosing - I didn't intend to overshoot 260 mg, but I redosed at least 100 mg more.
- Increased Music Appreciation
- Introspection - Mostly after coming down.
- Spacial Disorientation
- Time Distortion