Experience:Mushrooms (~0.5 g) - Autonomous Voice
- Date: 02/12/19
- Age: 20
- Sex: Male
- Height: 180 cm / 5'11"
- Weight: 56.7 kg / 125 lbs
- Misc: Mindset- excited, desiring spiritual connection. Setting- my room, alone, at night, lights dimmed slightly. Beginner level with psilocybin mushrooms. Smoked ~0.13 g of cannabis sativa around 11:30 PM
I wasted a lot of time with unnecessary details when I tried writing this earlier (then I lost my work...), so I'll try to skip to the good stuff. I obtained 2.5 grams of mushrooms and I decided I'd take a small piece to test the strain/batch. This is my second experience with mushrooms (first time was 1 gram and yielded less powerful results). Despite a low dosage, I had more intense effects than I would have presumed.
Dosing - 10 PM
I broke off a small piece, around a half gram at the very most (I don't have a scale). I chew and swallow it on a mostly empty stomach, I had some mac and cheese an hour later (could affect digestion/metabolism maybe).
Onset - 10:20-10:45 PM
It's hard to tell when exactly the experience began. I felt different in as little as 15 min. Derealization, as I looked in the mirror. A feeling of giddiness and mild mental fog arises. I feel almost a euphoria of a sorts coming on.
Coming Up - 10:45 - 11:30 PM
Mental fog and mild sedation intensifies, as does the euphoria, cognitive euphoria stronger than the physical euphoria. At times I feel foggy and minutes later, I feel like I have a flight of ideas and thoughts. Visuals become evident; some mild drifting, pattern recognition enhancement, acuity enhancement, and a soft sense of altered perspective. My sight started having a gentle, green tint to it. I was on the phone with my friend at the time (he was essentially a temporary sitter but I was alone through most of this). I laughed at almost anything he said. I still felt fairly clear headed and I assumed the peak had been reached. I smoked 0.13 g of cannabis (about 3 one hitter hits every 10 minutes) this intensified all the effects mentioned in the beginning of this paragraph.
Peak Actually Begins - ~12:00 AM
Up until now, no anxiety, but that changed. My friend went to bed, so now I decide to watch a cartoon, for I thought the trip was starting to end. Only a minute in, it seemed as if I wore 3D glasses. The characters seemed quite close, the backgrounds far. I found this amusing, until I realize how emotional I was. The cartoon easily triggered negative emotions. I pause it and stand up slowly. I felt SO COLD, yet the thermometer read only 67 degrees Fahrenheit. I start having feelings of apprehension and I shake and shiver. Time seemed to grind to a halt. My vision no longer acute but now more hazy like dust and smoke polluted the air. I notice my door is getting unusually far away and quite tall. It returned to normal size upon close inspection. The blinds had transparent, yet obvious, colorful geometric shapes red, blue, green, and yellow smoothly, slowly gliding across it, shapes were all diamond and circle overlapping (two shapes into one). All objects shifted and morphed in and out slowly but realistically, like breathing but far more widespread, as if everything were semi-gelatinous. This drifting made the room seem like it was slowly changing size as if I were getting smaller. I stared at my hands moving them back and forth. After images obvious.
The thought consumed me "I am having a bad trip!", anxiety was intense, I sweat and shake. I struggle to put on calming music. Then I remembered something I wrote down in preparation of the trip, from my own research. I reminded myself of my intention: "I want to feel connected with myself, learn more about myself, improve." This eased the anxiety somewhat. With a deep breath, I say aloud, "Can I just surrender right now? Can I just let go? I need to just flow downstream." The shaking ceased, I take another deep breath, "Why?" I say, "Why am I afraid? Why do I fear what I don't expect?" My pain eases even more, and I get a profound feeling that something major has been addressed and needs to be dealt with.
I speak one last time, "God? Goddess? Whoever is out there... I need your help. Guide me. Show me the way. Help me deal with these unpleasant feelings!" I go silent. Suddenly I hear a voice in my head, it says " Write this down." This was an entirely different thought stream. It had an "organic" feeling and seemed external. This voice was very comforting. I grab my sketchbook and a pencil and proceed to write down whatever it said, word for word. It would speak a few sentences clearly and then go quiet until I was finished writing. This went on maybe 20 minutes (albeit, feeling much longer), until the voice quieted permanently, it never returned after that. My anxiety had faded and I felt as if I had a weight lifted from my shoulders. My breathing was no longer shallow, my heartbeat was much slower. I did not speak or have an ordinary sober thought for an hour at least. All there was was the present moment as I quietly observed my environment and conceptual thoughts. I think I just sat there on the couch quite still for that hour.
Coming Down - 1:30-3:20 AM
As sudden as the peak hit, so did the come down to baseline. Like an unexpected smack in the face, my visuals (at least the external ones) faded and I felt more like I was "sober." But I was far from feeling "back to normal." My sense of rejuvenation and relief from negative repressed emotions grew greatly. It seemed like I just overcame some great obstacle. It felt like I had a profound realization about the nature of my anxiety and that someone/thing had given me life advice to better my emotional composure skills.
Close to Baseline - 3:20 AM
It was getting very late and my journey was ending. I got ready for sleep. I normally sleep in total darkness, so to my surprise, when I turned out the light and got into bed, possibly the most vivid geometry arose out of the particles in the air. Colorful, but dim, though nearly all encompassing. So, I grab a nightlight and this greatly reduces my internal hallucinations. This did not completely stop, however. It took close to an hour to fall asleep. In my hypnogogic state, every 3 minutes to 30 seconds, I would briefly perceive a scenario or plot involving strange characters with an even stranger plot. This would manifest semi-vivid to vivid, delirious and like I said, quite bizarre and nonsensical in nature. It is hard for me to even articulate it. For example, I saw five wind-up teeth with large eyes on top, hopping from the left to the right of my closed eye vision. They spoke of something about requiring some special toothbrush to create some sort of evil plan and I felt as if I had an active role in that scenario. I nearly jumped out of bed with a feeling of urgency "I must get... wait what did I need? What am I thinking?! That was just my imagination..." I close my eyes again. Almost asleep, I saw many naked asian women. One at a time, one by one, each lasting a few seconds, quite vivid but still somewhat faint, but other times realistic and defined. I kept thinking I was in a scenario where I was having sex with an asian woman or multiple asian women. This was all extremely weird but actually amusing. It was only slightly troubling due to how confused I would get (I kept forgetting I was in bed trying to sleep. The sense that I was elsewhere was extremely convincing.
I felt very rested despite getting less sleep than usual. The profound feeling has not lingered very strongly (perhaps due to low dose) but there is a defined afterglow to say the very least. I am glad I had this experience, and I would do it all over again, even if it were only conquering anxiety, because it was magical.
Submitted by Xan-xander-xan
- Physical euphoria
- Temperature regulation suppression
- Appetite suppression
- Changes in felt bodily form
- Cognitive euphoria
- Laughter fits
- Feelings of impending doom
- Anxiety suppression
- Feelings of fascination, importance and awe
- Visual acuity enhancement
- Perspective distortions
- Color tinting
- Visual haze
- Visual acuity suppression
- Geometry (mild)
- After images
- Internal hallucinations (mild to moderate mostly in dark environment while sleeping)
- Scenarios and plots (of a bizarre, nonsensical theme)