Experience:25mg DMT - Your wall can't save you

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Trip Reports - DMT

  • Date: Jan, 2015
  • Subject: Male
  • Weight: 52kg / 115lbs
  • Height: 5'4"
  • Set: Heavy dosing anxiety, sleepy, hopeful.
  • Setting: My room, on my bed, in the dark, at night, in silence.
  • Timeline: Approx. 15-20 minutes from start to finish

Preparation

A few days prior, 95% isopropyl alcohol was used to wash the inner walls of a DMT jar. This jar looked empty, save some yellow gooey crystals on the side and in the corners, but it seemed very cumbersome to try and scrape the yellow goo off the walls of the jar, so I washed the walls and let it evaporate. I am doing this casually, and am hoping to only acquire a small dose to help me drift off to sleep peacefully.

I scraped up the contents of the jar and placed it in my DMT pipe. Turned off my lights, and got under my covers

Experience

T+ Minutes:Seconds

"There is a small amount in the bowl, I bet I can take this all in one hit."
"I have had bad experiences before, so I'll take this low dose, keep a smile on my face, and try to make sure this trip is good. Just keep reminding yourself, it can't really hurt you, it's just an experience."
"I can't wait to see a few light wiggles and drift off to sleep."

T+ 00:00 Light up, toke up, hold it.. hold it.. Hold it.. . hold it.... let it out. Woooo, things are already getting really weird...

T+ 00:10 OH!!... Oh.. ohhh... oh no.... oh fuck... this isn't fun at all...this is grey, and dark.. and my room is transforming into a very jagged and uncomfortable landscape... oh shit... may have... fuck...

Fuck...

T+ 00:20 This is incredibly disorientating, I feel as though I am in the presence of an entity, its a familiar one. I have met him before, but I am not seeing him. I am just aware he is here, and he is never happy to see me. He is attempting to bring back a theme from a previous trip. One that was very political, one that seemed very focused on the troubles of the world, and how disappointed he was in all of us, but I am resisting, this is too weird. I remember the trip I had forgotten about very vividly, and I didn't like it at all.. fortunately... I am able to resist enough to not relive the horrors I was shown last time. I struggle with his message, desperately trying to just make myself not feel this, I am finally able to open my eyes, or maybe my eyes were open? Its hard to tell. All of this, of course, is accompanied by incredibly jagged, black, dark green and grey geometry; Both with closed eye and open eye visuals, that seem to be all-encompassing.

T+ 05:00 My eyes are open, but I cannot see anything. On top of the fact that it is dark, the visual geometry is still pretty much covered my entire field of vision. I grab onto my own hand to ensure I still have a body. Good, I am still alive... Am I still in my room? I reach over to feel something, anything familiar that can solidify the idea in my head that I am, in fact, okay.

THUNK...

"A wall... good... My wall means Im in my room, I hit it really hard, but at least its there." Just before I am able to really get a sense of what was going on, my brain says "Your wall can't save you..." . This seems to be an implanted thought that came into my head. Not necessarily a complete auditory hallucination. As it did not seem to engage my ears. It very much seemed like inner dialogue... like the voice you are likely using to read this, except.. This just wasn't mine, a sort of extra-psychic-intuitive thought. As if I was being spoken to telepathically.

I suddenly realize what happened because of what I heard. I am finally self aware enough to realize I just got my ass kicked. I have the notion that it was specifically because I was attempting to use this in a light that it was not intended, but that's spooky language. It's more likely my expectations combined with such a high level of dosing anxiety cause the negativity. I will just lay here.. and laugh out loud at the irony.. this causing the experience to improve dramatically.


T+ 10:00 I am still feeling a heavy after glow, I feel very sedated from the laughter and am finally feeling the familiar euphoria. I'm going to lay on my side with my eyes closed and try to accomplish what I set out to do. Still giggling to myself... Closed eye visuals are very soft and friendly, I feel as though this is really what I was looking for. I suddenly hear a very clear, but slightly distorted word: Psylocybin echoes through my head. This did engage my ears, much more clear and friendly than the last voice. It was distorted in a way that sounded as if the voice came from underwater, or as though someone has said it speaking through whirring fan blades. Even though it was a single word, it meant very much to me.

T+ 15:00 The experience is about over, I barley feel the initial blast anymore, but the euphoric drowsiness was wearing off, I decided to get up, eat a snack and smoke some weed. The idea that I could use low doses of dmt as a sleep aid was a failure. Maybe even lower doses next time?

Again, I come to the idea that this cannot just be used for fun or light purpose, at least for me. This always seemed to be a very intense experience. DMT, initally, was a very dream-like and wonderful experience, consistently. It has since evolved into a tremendously dark and ominous experience, almost consistently. I don't necessarily believe the entities I meet or hear are genuinely, externally sourced, but it certainly "seemed" to be insulted I had been planning a dose as a sleep aid. I may have better luck with Psylocybin as far as pleasant experiences go, but I can't use it as a sleep aid. The idea that I could use low doses of DMT as a sleep aid was a failure. Maybe even lower doses next time? -Salem (talk) 23:49, 10 January 2015 (UTC)

Submitted by - Salem

Effects analysis

  • External hallucinations - "my room is transforming into a very jagged and uncomfortable landscape"
  • Autonomous entities - "I feel as though I am in the presence of an entity, its a familiar one. I have met him before, but I am not seeing him. I am just aware he is here, and he is never happy to see me. He is attempting to bring back a theme from a previous trip. One that was very political, one that seemed very focused on the troubles of the world, and how disappointed he was in all of us"
  • Geometry - "All of this, of course, is accompanied by incredibly jagged, black, dark green and grey geometry; Both with closed eye and open eye visuals, that seem to be all-encompassing." "On top of the fact that it is dark, the visual geometry is still pretty much covered my entire field of vision."
  • Subconscious communication - "my brain says "Your wall can't save you..." . This seems to be an implanted thought that came into my head. Not necessarily a complete auditory hallucination. As it did not seem to engage my ears. It very much seemed like inner dialogue... like the voice you are likely using to read this, except.. This just wasn't mine, a sort of extra-psychic-intuitive thought. As if I was being spoken to telepathically."
  • Emotionality enhancement - "It's more likely my expectations combined with such a high level of dosing anxiety cause the negativity."
  • Internal hallucinations - "Closed eye visuals are very soft and friendly"
  • Auditory hallucinations - "I suddenly hear a very clear, but slightly distorted word: Psylocybin echoes through my head. This did engage my ears, much more clear and friendly than the last voice. It was distorted in a way that sounded as if the voice came from underwater, or as though someone has said it speaking through whirring fan blades."