Experience:LSD (300 ug) - A Real Wake-Up
Date: 09/2019
Age:18
Sex:M
Height:170 cm
Weight: 70kg/154 lb
Misc: No experience, but alcohol concurrently and BPD and very mild epilepsy.
So, 2 tabs of acid on my moving in day at uni may not have been the best idea, but I thought it'd work out. Before this, I had been feeling unsatisfied and felt that I needed to change.
Essentially, I dropped a tab at noon, and another 15 mins later. After another 45 minutes, I realised I was smiling impossibly widely for the day and sweating bullets.
I then walked with people who I felt one of- a very loud crowd. During this, the colours were very loud and intimidating, and I began to feel my teeth jumping and nerve endings firing. I didn't understand what was going on, and the trees began to move delightfully sending waves of iridescent color behind them. Obviously, I paid no attention to those who I was walking with because I couldn't understand them, nor they me.
After this, I began to panic- I'm not good in social situations at the best of times, and I was suddenly embroiled in a drinking game. I could feel this heavy, heavy social tension which I could feel literally pulling me down. People next to me kept asking whether I was uncomfortable- which I was, because their faces seemed like blank, boring slates and they expressed nothing but similarities. I eventually ran out of there, literally gibbering in fear as I went to a party, which I left immediately.
Eventually, I ended up in my room and began to introspect about my own self- and I realised I had become everything I hated about my own country- the loudness, the drinking the over-concentrarion on material looks. And that I never meant to become that. I felt nearly totally empty- that my entire identity consisted of total animal instinct and slavish desire to impress-no longer human. From this point I stared in the mirror at my face and tried to figure out what I wanted out of life, and whether my humanity was even salvageable. Since then, I've refound my interest in anime and work, along with swimming. What other people judge doesn't matter as much to me anymore.
Submitted by iwihbn
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