Experience:70 mg - Overcoming personal problems
- Date: January 8, 2013
- Gender: Female
- Weight: unknown
- Height: 168 cm / 5ft6
- Age: 20
- Dose: 70 mg
- ROA: Oral
While I was coming up I started watching Planet Earth, and Inside the human cell After a while it started becoming hard to pay attention to anything with too much plot, some and josikins who was trip sitting me sat in darkness listening to music for a while, and I could just see really fine and fast moving visuals covering my field of vision.
After I had started to trip a bit harder, I wanted to go out for a walk in the park, but before heading out I really needed to urinate but our roommate was in the bath, so we had to take a detour and went to the bathroom at the supermarket, after I was done doing my business, we just walked around the shop. I was bizarre walking around a supermarket without the goal of buying groceries. I got to people watch and it felt like I saw human beings for the first time in their natural environment, rather than just people shopping I saw them for just people living their lives, doing exactly what I do when I go shopping, We're all in the same boat.
After that, we went to the park which was beautiful. We went to the play park and started playing on the swings it was very relaxing. Then I went and played on the new round-a-bout that they had and the noise it makes while spinning around sounded like an alien spacecraft taking off. It shook me up a bit, and I became quite anxious because it started to get really loud and sounded ever so slightly sinister, which was then amplified the longer it went on for. So I decided I wanted to go home because I felt like I needed a change of environment to lighten the mood, and I also got tired all of a sudden and felt like I needed to lay down.
When we got home, one of our friend’s from London had arrived and also a few others, and they were about to head out to the pub but I just went straight upstairs because my short term memory was gone at this point, so things were a little confusing and I couldn't really keep track of what was going on. I couldn't follow the conversation, so I thought it was best to go some place where I felt comfortable. So my girlfriend decided to head out with all of our friends, and I stayed home and just relaxed in bed while listening to some instrumental music, and I started thinking about my friends and my girlfriend and I came to the conclusion that I was quite an insecure individual and I remembered this quote that I read on the dalai lama’s twitter account a few weeks ago “there is no room for jealousy, insecurities or anger in a warm, loving heart”, which immediately triggered a feeling of relief as I truly thought about it, I am not going to go into too much detail as it is too personal to mention but in our relationship we had a lot of difficulties when we first got together, and it had quite a severe adverse effect on my psyche, I became quite self-conscious and self-pitied for a long time.
So anyway, I called my girlfriend because I was just so happy and I just really wanted to see her. She was at the beach so I got dressed and got my things together as quick as I could and ran out the door. I didn't stop running until I found her. I felt like I was in some romantic comedy searching for him through the streets of my town because I really couldn't wait to see her and tell her that I loved her. When that happened we headed over to a pub because they had a folk night event where anyone can come along and play their instruments and sing along. When we arrived, I sat down with our friends that were already there and I Immediately became quite paranoid. I couldn't keep track of conversation as there was so much going on. Tripping in such a public place wasn't the best idea but it was an experience that I'm glad I had as I had my girlfriend there and friends who I trusted to keep me safe and always reassured me that everything was okay. After about (what felt like) 15 minutes of being there my social circle thought it was probably a good idea to take me home in a more calming environment where I wouldn't have to concentrate on much. My girlfriend and one of my friends left with me the rest stayed, and the walk home was very pleasant because things started to calm down and become less frustrating. I began to feel as though I was purely in the moment when I got home. I was incredibly distractable, and I just wanted to try and be creative by any means possible. I went into the kitchen for a glass of water at some point through the night for a drink of water, and I glanced over at the rubbish and all the recycling and my mind just exploded, I had this sudden perspective of needing to help the world in any single way I could, no matter how small or big the problem was. My girlfriend told me this quote the next day when I was explaining what was going through my head. “A droplet of water doesn't think it’s responsible for the flood” Which is a bad way of thinking.
Later on in the night, I took our dog for a walk as I couldn't sleep, I also found it difficult to concentrate on anything that I wanted to do creative-wise, so I got ready to leave which took quite some time and took our dog with me. We've had a little trouble trying to train her to walk with us properly on the lead rather than tugging and trying to be in charge of the walk. While tripping, I understood that I'm not in charge of the walk either. I am equal to her in terms of importance, We are both living creatures, and just because I have more intelligence does not mean that I am better than her in any way other than my intelligence, but even then, the fact that I have more intelligence than a dog is by pure chance of natural selection.
After my walk I came home and spent a little time on our roof garden and then went to bed and fell asleep. I woke up the next day in the same mindset but with less confusion. I was still a little confused at things but nowhere near as intense as the previous night, I felt as though I just needed to rest after a hard night’s work worth of tripping and was simply just tired. I was a little surprised at the fact that I still had the same mindset as the night before and thought there was a slight possibility of it somehow wearing off but I was determined to use the mindset I was in too my advantage before it disappeared and I was as productive and motivated as possible to do as much as I could to improve the world. So I spent all day organizing our kitchen so that we had somewhere for our recycling, I also made a natural homemade cleaning product out of vinegar and oranges. I chilled out and relaxed in the evening and didn't want to go to bed the next day because I started pondering over the universe, and the ego.
I feel like I no longer live for the future or I am no longer stuck in the past. I feel like I have achieved nirvana, which is such an amazing feeling and may sound like jargon. It’s as though I am living life as if there was a possibility of me dying tomorrow. I now do as much as I possibly can in one day, because I used to go through life living for the future. I would procrastinate far too much and think that I had enough time to do all the things that I want to do in life. I’d put off things I wanted to but wouldn't do them because I could just do them later on or tomorrow. When in reality, I only have so much time in this life before my consciousness disappears.
I read a quote once on Pintrest a few weeks ago that says “The goal is not to live forever." The fact that I WILL eventually die at some point in life means I need to live as much as possible, while I still can. In reality, I’m not dying, only my conciousness is. All of the atoms that make up my body will all stay in this universe, The only thing that will disappear is my consciousness. I am perfectly at peace with that, so long as I live my life to the fullest. Do things regardless of irrational fears, as long as I assess the situation to be truly safe and is proven to be safe; then I will experience frightening things. I will explore as much of this earth as I possibly can, and learn as much as I possibly can so that I can create and form as many ideas as possible to put out there to the world so that others can build upon them, just like I am doing. I am standing on the shoulders of giants, and so should you!
Submitted by - TheReplicator
- Memory suppression - "it started becoming hard to pay attention to anything with too much plot" " I just went straight upstairs because my short term memory was gone at this point, so things were a little confusing and I couldn't really keep track of what was going on"
- Geometry - " I could just see really fine and fast moving visuals covering my field of vision."
- Personal bias suppression - "I got to people watch and it felt like I saw human beings for the first time in their natural environment, rather than just people shopping I saw them for just people living their lives"
- Introspection - " I remembered this quote “there is no room for jealousy, insecurities or anger in a warm loving heart”, which immediately triggered a feeling of relief as I truly thought about it"
- Emotion enhancement - " I felt like I was in some romantic comedy searching for him through the streets of my town because I really couldn't wait to see him and tell him that I loved him."
- Paranoia - "and I Immediately became quite paranoid."
- Personal bias suppression - " I had this sudden perspective of needing to help the world in any single way I could, no matter how small or big the problem was." "While tripping, I understood that I'm not in charge of the walk either. I am equal to her in terms of importance"