After dropping the
I stepped outside of existence (at the top where this all was a comfortable but depressing joke, rather than the bottom where I was like, an android being decommissioned). The devil and god are raging inside me.
I am certain that novel ways of thinking can be achieved and perhaps even sustained with practice. It is more difficult than usual to commit psychedelic information to memory.
During the onset, the environment would appear to spiral in intensity (both visually and audibly).
If my subjective experience is all I can be certain of, it is difficult to distrust the dodgy panic signals coming from my body; though I was not well rested and have never put myself through quite as much stress. It would be nice to test this in a well known, comfortable environment rather than essentially lost in the middle of nowhere.
Disorientating myself from a reliable frame of reference with regards to what I have until now considered "myself" made the trip very delusional. Upon observation of the similar situation of appearing lost in the outskirts of civilisation, I felt that we were entities communicating outside of reality (within which, subjective experience appeared transient). In this place, I was overwhelmed with potential (which is both terrifying and beautiful) as I conceptualised the scalarity of the past, existence, and the future as progressing regardless of my conscious input, but also integrally relying on my input since subjective reality is produced within my own separable consciousness. It has happened, it is happening, it will continue to happen. Just not from any reference point that could be attributed to the abstraction of this instance of "myself".
However, nature has provided us organisms with the biological tools and equipment to spawn instances of self. Specialising potential increases the complexity of the system as a whole, and also the subject's own reference.
- Environment, subject(concept); a cognitive hyper-structure within which the subject inhabits
- Self, subject(concept); cognitive boundary between the environment and subject
- "My dragon, as I suspect all wakened dragons have been so far, is erratic, as in I will get a 'yes' and a 'no' on the very same thought, in the time it takes to think the same thing twice.
Whether I know the thought to reflect real-world fact, or not."