Experience:437.5μg LSD - Everything at once
- Date: July 1, 2015
- Gender: Male
- Weight: 165 lbs
- Age: 24
- Etc: 437.5μg LSD, later 0.3 to 0.4 grams of weed
It was Canada day and me and some buddies decided to go to our one buddies place and do LSD. I had done it before 6 times before this event, so I was by this point fairly experienced with the drug. For the most part, I knew what to expect, what the come up felt like and what the visuals would peak at. I was very comfortable with the effects. My buddy had a house that was near enough to Toronto to drive to, but far enough into the boonies that his lot was huge and he was mostly surrounded by small farms and big middle-of-nowhere style houses. It would make the ideal spot for a trip. I took the subway up to a friends place and then we drove the rest of the way.
Shortly after arriving, we dropped the tabs. I took 3 1/2 125μg tabs, which amounted 437.5μg in total. My other 3 friends consumed variously between 2 and 2 1/2 tabs, so between 250μg and 312.5μg at 1:10PM. We went outside and started playing with the Frisbee and generally just chilling and listening to music. After a while, our friend and host convinced us to go on a nature walk throughout the woods in his backyard (initially by telling us that there was a rusted car and bus back there but this later turned out to be a lie to convince us to go, it was just a walk).
While we were out walking, the high of the LSD really started to kick in. I find that when your in nature you don't really notice as much perceptually. You get the body high and the internal feelings, but without a solid texture to look at you really don't very much in visuals, besides a general feeling of intensity in your perceptions. We ventured through a lot of tall grass, down a hill, through a marshy area and through a newly planted corn field, eventually arriving at a fence. At this point we decide to turn around and walk back. During the walk back, one of our buddies who was walking slower then the rest of the group gets lost after falling behind. After finding him, he later sat down in the tall grass and let himself intentionally get lost, apparently experiencing a profound feeling of oneness while in the grass. It is fortunate that he found his way home after we left him there.
After we got back, we all undress, put on bathing suits and get into a hot tub. The hot tub felt really nice with the LSD and it was only after getting back and seeing the textures in the stone of the patio, the granite inside the house and the walls that I really realize just how whacked out I was. After sitting in the hot tub for a while, I decide to smoke a bowl of weed. I used to be a huge pot head, but had quit several months earlier, only doing it occasionally. My previous experiences with LSD led me to believe that the two would combine in a similar way that weed combines with alcohol - producing a great amplification of the effects of both drugs that is easy to underestimate. I had no idea what was in store for me.
After smoking the bowl of weed, this is where the truly profound effects of LSD started to hit me - a level of the drug that I had not been to before and was not expecting to go on that day. I sat in the hot tub for a while after smoking the bowl, initially just becoming slightly anxious. I wasn't totally sure what to do, and was having difficulty following peoples conversations or even forming thoughts of my own. It didn't bother me very much initially. I got out of the hot tub and started searching for my sun glasses - this proved to be extremely difficult. I couldn't keep my mind on the task at hand for more then a second at a time. My mind repeatedly just went empty - too overloaded with sensation to maintain coherent focus on any one thing.
I never did find my sunglasses. Eventually I sat down and thought to myself, "what would happen if this feeling just took over? What if I just couldn't think anymore?" I imagined the feeling taking over, and the information rushing into my mind faster then I could process. It was ironic that this half joking thought was what triggered me to fully enter the LSD high, Geometry Level 8A. I had imagined it taking over, and in that very moment it took over. Whether the thought was the trigger or a result of what was happening anyhow is anyone’s guess.
Initially I was very confused. I didn't like the feeling at all. My internal narrative had completely stopped - I could no longer form thoughts. Multiple words would come at the same time and they just didn't form a sentence or a coherent idea. When I opened my eyes, although I saw the outer world, it did not fully register. It was as if the what I was seeing was not properly transforming into higher level concepts. I could not decide what to do with objects in my world or what to do with myself. I reported to my friends that I had entered a really weird state of mind and was not feeling well. I reported being very confused and unable to think or do anything. I reported multiple times that they probably could do anything with me in that state - I would have been very easy to lead. It was somewhat surprising that I was capable of talking at all, although slightly broken. My internal narrative had completely vanished, but I was still capable of controlling my mouth to some extent. A feeling of doubt and worry took over for a while - was I stuck like this? Permanently depersonalized from my conscious experience? My biggest fear at this point was that it would stay like this forever - where I couldn't think and that I would be a permanent zombie, in capable of leading people or doing anything but follow the most basic commands. Was this what a bad trip is? I wanted to be normal again.
After about 30 to 45 minutes and some laying in the grass, I started to accept the feeling more and it no longer gave me anxiety. I started to make sense of what was going on while it was going on, and that's when I really started to enjoy it. I had consistently increased the dosage of my LSD experiences, from 240 on previous days through to 437 that day. I wanted to see what it was like to get "drunk" on LSD - what the limit was and I had found it. The Geometry Level 8A experience is exactly like they describe in the article on psychonaut here, but you really don't get it until you go through it. I really was experiencing everything at the same time - or while maybe not entirely everything, there were many things simultaneously. It was as if you had just turned the whole brain on. Instead of having a single thing that I was paying attention to, I started feeling like I was getting multiple thoughts simultaneously. It was no wonder why I couldn't form sentences or thoughts any more - multiple words would be bubbling up to my higher level consciousness in parallel. It reminded me like a pot of boiling water, where each bubble was a thought. While initially its a steady stream, as the pot heats up to a rapid boil, the bubbles are just so random and all over the place that you can no longer understand them.
My entire linguistic, visual, and semantic systems where firing all at once. It felt like I was experiencing all possible futures and all pasts and all of the present all at once. All ideas, words, concepts, images, all just seemed to be appearing at the same time in an incomprehensible cacophony. Even different ways of forming my sentences and different choices of words appeared simultaneously. When I opened my eyes, my world was overlayed with an extremely strong hexagon like grid that felt like it was all three colors at the same time. It became nearly impossible to talk aloud, let alone maintain an internal narrative. My mind was fried. It was a very weird state of mind - where your internal narrative, your ability to make sense of the world and make any decisions related to your senses were all gone. It was a complete ego death - I was fully enveloped by my brain lit up like a light bulb. It was fundamentally different from lower doses of LSD and from normal, coherent thinking.
After a while, it started to calm down and could have some thoughts again. I started having these weird, profound and probably wrong insights into how the world works. I got this strong sense that intelligence existed in abstract, outside of biological brains. That I was experiencing something that creatures all around the universe experienced. Aliens would evolve on foreign worlds with completely different concept networks, but if you lit up their whole brain in the same way, they would experience precisely the same thing - a strong connectedness with all the universe and all of existence, everything that can or will exist. I felt like I was going on a right of passage almost. Treading a path that Steve Jobs and other great leaders had done before me - like gods of some kind had put me on a course to experience this. I screamed out "Why me! Why Today?" multiple times. At one point I became convinced that I was set up - my friends and and this whole days entire purpose was for me to break through to this level of LSD experience and this connectedness with everything. That my friends knew this was going to happen and it was all in the plan. Not true, of course, but at the time it was the only thing that made sense.
I also had this repeating pattern, along with all of the other thoughts that were occurring simultaneously, was that "This is why you do LSD. The visuals are just the pussy shit compared to this miraculous internal feeling. Having the whole brain turned on at once." I felt like I was experiencing something profound - that everything in my life had lead up to this point just for me to experience that. I felt that I was going to extract some great insight into the nature of intelligence from it - the fact that this weird state of mind was even possible had to mean something. But at the same time I remember shouting that "it could be meaningless! It might mean nothing!", a reference to the fact that I might not extract any meaningful insights from the experience at all. I was just fucked up and it wasn't really going to change my life.
The weed wore down and with it the most extreme effects of the geometry. Soon I was able to form thoughts in my own head again. The return of an internal narrative and an ability to react to and interpret the backyard of my buddies house was greatly welcomed. I chilled with my buddies, thankful that they had taken care of me. Especially during that initial half hour to 45 minutes of the geometry where I didn't know what was happening other then that I was no longer thinking or processing information normally - the part where I was anxious. Later on in the evening, almost 10 hours after first taking the LSD, I smoked another bowl of weed. I noticed that this caused some return of the feelings that I had earlier - the feeling of experiencing everything at once and no longer being able to follow conversations. However, fortunately it never became as bad that evening - never strong enough to cause me to start having broken thoughts, but it reinforced the notion that it was only the LSD in combination with the weed that had caused this profound state of mind in me.
Overall it was a great day. For almost 2 hours, I was experiencing everything that could exist in my head all at once. My entire sense of time was deprived, and it felt like all information was just flowing through me. It no longer came to a point - no single thing that I was paying attention to, but instead a cacophony of incomprehensible thoughts and concepts occurring simultaneously, bubbling randomly like a rapid boiling pot of water. It was scary at first, but after easing into it, I was able to enjoy it for almost 2 hours before my thoughts started reforming again.
I think my experiences with the psychedelics are over, for now at least. If what I wanted was to have something mind-blowing, something that fundamentally altered my state of mind, I had got there. It was yesterday with that 437.5μg of LSD and that bowl of weed. I had experienced something that was fundamentally different from normal experience - and fundamentally different than all of my previous LSD experiences, where my thoughts mostly stayed normal and comprehensible. I don't think I need to light my brain up like that again for quite a while. I need to give my mind a break. But overall it was well worth it. If you plan to take LSD with the intention of exploring level 8A Geometry, all I would say is that you make sure you are in good company, with people who can reassure you that your safe, that this happened because of the LSD and that you will return normal soon. When your in this state, all sense of how you got there and where you are going will disappear. You will experience it all at once - all possible pasts, all possible futures, and every word and linguistic concept will manifest simultaneously.
- 8A_Geometry_-_Exposure_to_semantic_concept_network - "All ideas, words, concepts, images, all just seemed to be appearing at the same time in an incomprehensible cacophony."
- Multiple_thought_streams - "It was no wonder why I couldn't form sentences or thoughts any more - multiple words would be bubbling up to my higher level consciousness in parallel."
- Ego_death - "It was a complete ego death - I was fully enveloped by my brain lit up like a light bulb."