Experience:Alprazolam (~2mg on separate days, oral) - Not remembering going to sleep
- Date: 01/2021
- Age: 19
- Sex: male
- Height: 185 cm
- Weight: 75 kg / 165 lb
- Misc: Never tried any benzos. The only drugs I'm really used to are cannabis and alcohol. I tried other drugs, but, being the careful person that I am, I was often annoyed by what I consider almost no effects (Dextrometorphan, Tramadol, Salvia and Kanna). Setting for Alprazolam was always my room at my parents home, after a normal day, not boring but not exceptional either, – what I consider a good time for trying new drugs. I was in a good mood, maybe anticipating a bit. Before each time, I'd brush my teeth and say goodnight to everybody. The Alprazolam was Xanax brand, found randomly on the street in a prescription box still full.
All effects are written at the time mentioned, apart when stated otherwise. Time is 24h standard.
Sunday, January 10th 2021
T+00:00 (22:10) Swallowing 0.75 mg (one and a half 0.5 pills).
T+00:47 Not feeling much after being on the phone with a friend, redosing 0.25 mg oral (tot. 1 mg) because I felt like I didn't want to waste my time taking small doses and wasting substances. I bit into it and left it under my tongue for a bit hoping it would kick faster. I was well aware of the dangers of redosing Xanax, but I really wanted to feel it at least a bit. I didn't allow myself to take more than that.
T+01:20 I'm feeling different for baseline. My moves are not as coordinated and it's as if I have less strength. I don't feel happier, but a bit tired. I still feel I have complete control of my thoughts and I could pass as sober.
T+01:30 Something is definitely going on. Effects are a bit sedative. I particularly want to go to bed. I'm watching a video on my computer.
T+02:07 Same effects but stronger. Lack of coordination, and a felt loss of strength like the viral state when you have a flu. Not exactly loss of strength but more like your muscle are unwilling to do what you want them to do, though it's not really strong. I go to bed to wake up at 8:30.
The next day I don't exactly remember what happened after going to bed. I laid in my bed, and I magically woke up the next day. I woke up later than what I wanted 10:30. I had some weird dreams, but not so precise.
Thuesday, January 12th 2021
T+00:00 (22:50) Swallowing 1.5 mg (three 0.5 pills).
T+01:13 Same as last time, muscles are kind of acting the way they want, like being a bit tipsy/drunk. I redose 0.5 mg (sublingual then swallowing, tot. 2 mg) after talking with some family and feeling completely fine.
T+01:20 Sitting and standing up feels fun so I do it multiple times. Time feels a little bit faster but it might be a placebo. I'm once again on my computer.
T+02:04 I turn off the lights and my computer and lay in my bed to focus on the feelings. I don't want to sleep at that time.
Tommorow Same thing happened: I don't remember afterwards. I woke up somewhere around 4 in the morning to go to the toilets, but I was feeling so groggy and slow to the point I was hesitating to go, being afraid of making noises. That might also be because I was half asleep.
I slept for 11 hours that night but I didn't feel rested.
Sunday, January 31th 2021
T+00:00 (22:01) Swallowing 2 mg. I've left 0.5 in case I want to redose, and hid the box somewhere so to not take more.
T+00:17 Already feeling some of the effects I've now gotten accustomed to. I go brush my teeth.
T+00:42 I'M SLOW (as capitalized in the original report). I went brushing my teeth and a family member reminded me I had to walk the dog out and so I went. It felt fun, feeling pretty groogy and the effects are pretty sedative. My steps were not straight. Typing on the computer is an effort and I have trouble not making mistakes. Everything seems hard. I'm hungry.
T+01:15 I feel lost, it's really hard to type on the keyboard. Reading the screen is hard too, but I can't say why, it's not visual. I lay in bed to read a book but I end up not.
T+08:16 (06:17 in the morning) I had multiple dreams and one woke me up. I'm not going to write them all here, but I wrote them all down the moment I woke up and I remember them fairly well. I realize (in my dreams) that I'm dreaming. The dream isn't first person, I'm not existent in it. I see the bottom of some ocean and it's all really pretty. I decide to look up and I see how deep I am so that scares me. Someone takes off that view from me.
It was in fact a video on a phone. I'm lying in bed in my room in the dark. There's someone next to me whom I can't see the face of. I think that I'm going to get hurt and that it's real life. I've never experienced sleep paralysis before so I can't compare, but I couldn't scream nor move. He's taking out another phone to show me some other videos but I don't want it to happen (it's like torture in my head at this point). He sees I want to scream so he put something in my mouth looking like a weird dildo.
I remember it's a dream. I close my eyes, I open them. He's still there looking at me. I wake up suddenly, gasping for air.
I don't remember falling asleep at all. Everything is black from the moment I laid in my bed. It's a reason why the dream felt so real, because, in my head, I never felt asleep and there's a hole in my memory.
Later that day I still have a blackout of yesterday, after going in my bed. It's a bit scary, because I don't know what I've done. I've checked the pill I left in case I wanted to redose and it's still here. My book is at the same page as yesterday so I might just have fallen asleep. I went back to bed after writing the dream I had. I woke up around 10:00.
Submitted by Rututu