Experience:5 tabs with weed and nitrous oxide - A lover's ego death

From PsychonautWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Trip Reports - LSD

states of unity and interconnectedness - I have had these experiences on LSD and mushrooms numerous times. On LSD it is almost always prevalent. On mushrooms sometimes. My most recent was an extremely interesting experience. I was tripping with a girl I had been getting to know. I had no clue if she liked me or not and it was our first "date." Just hanging out and taking some acid. We took around 5 tabs in combination with weed and nitrous oxide. On the last popper I started to have hallucinations of intensely romantic/sexual nature. Kings/queens ruling the universe together, heavy allusions to unity (but in a romantic sense). It was irking me hardcore because I was not planning on making a move that day, just having a good time. But after looking her in the face, she gave me a weird sort of stare like she was experiencing the same thing. We both kind of sat in disbelief. The boundaries of ego were melting. One second I was mostly myself, next i as mostly her, and it was a tug of war between our minds. Eventually the pull was so intense I jumped to the conclusion that she must be feeling the same thing and I hopped over and leaned into her. The drug changed entirely. Everything got still. The hallucinations stopped and it was the most peaceful experience I have ever felt. Everything was like HD on steroids as well. Very bright and vivid. She seemed to take positively to the move so I leaned my head into hers and saw our two wavelengths of thought connect at one end and swiftly snap together. The second they snapped ego death hit. It was intensely explosive. We became one being. I could feel every emotion/fear/joy/memory/etc that was part of her. It was now a part of me and then we both shot outward into the universe and merged into it all. One with the "mind of god." This happened multiple times as we went through the mind loops. We would create our distance and then find our way back together and dissolve all over again into a space that was all-encompassing. Not only in space but in time as well. As if all time was also unified into a single point. Shit was real too. I was so convinced that we were one that I sat there having to piss for about an hour because I didn't want to piss with this girl (and the rest of the universe for that matter) spiritually attached to me. Really hard experience to describe, but I rarely ever hear stories of a "lovers ego death" so i thought it could be interesting or somehow useful to your article. It was distinctly different from my other experiences. Something about physical touch also added a new dimension to the experience and the concept of "oneness". It also might help to add that we are both pantheists which may have fueled some of the concepts... Then again some of those experiences were what led me to pantheism in the first place.

Submitted by - Anonymous Disregardeverythingisay reader

Effects analysis

  • Unity and interconnectedness (level 3) - "The boundaries of ego were melting. One second I was mostly myself, next i as mostly her" "We became one being. I could feel every emotion/fear/joy/memory/etc that was part of her. It was now a part of me and then we both shot outward into the universe and merged into it all. One with the "mind of god.""
  • Internal hallucinations - "so I leaned my head into hers and saw our two wavelengths of thought connect at one end and swiftly snap together."
  • Thought loops - "as we went through the mind loops."