Experience:450(Seeds)-Talking to Ghosts
I will try to recall the experience as best as I can, but it was incredibly powerful. I only wish words did it justice. There was so much more than can possibly be said here. This was amazing, horrible, scary, fascinating, annoying, uncomfortable, painful and surreal, all at once. This happened a few years ago (it is now Jan-2015), but I believe it is worth mentioning. I had been discouraged from recording the experience at the time by the fact that all the careful notes I had been taking during the experience turned out to be nothing but illegible scribbles, symbols and crumpled notebook paper when I examined them the next day.
I had previously been given 150 seeds by a friend who mistook them for Morning Glory Seeds. This mistake could have been dangerous, but in the end I was shown the plant and properly identified it. I chose to take some seed pods home with me. With a little bit of research online, and with the seeds themselves, I ended up finding what I believed to be a dose that would take me far, but wouldn't put me in the hospital, or worse. Daturas potency varies 5:1, so I now always start with a very very low dose, and work up.
- Date: 2012
- Gender: Male
- Weight: 52kg / 115lbs
- Age: 21
- Dose: 450 datura seeds
- Goal: Meditative supplement.
- Timeline: Unknown
- Mind-frame/Set: Curious, Anxious, Slightly depressed
- Environment/Setting: Night, a quiet house in the middle of a large desert, few neighbors, close family in home and aware of experiment. No TV or music, phones off.
450 individually counted and finely ground seeds into tea
I prepared 450 individually counted and finely ground seeds into a coffee filter and tied a string around it so it resembled a closed tea bag. I dipped it in a pot of warm water for approximately 24 hours, and agitated it every few hours. I discarded the seed bag, and I took the potion as the sun fell, under the moon. This seemed appropriate because this plant had earned the nickname "Moon Flower". My brother came up for the weekend, and wanted to try the experiment with me in the last minute. He was to be my sitter anyway, so I gave the okay. My brother was not made tea, but instead yogurt, so we could get on with the experience. For my brother I prepared 150 finely ground seeds, and sprinkled them into a yogurt mix. I had been fasting all day for the experiment. I do not know what he had to eat, but he weighed around 135 at the time, I believe. It might have been better for him to start at 50-100, but I gave him 150 because he insisted he wanted to "really feel it".
I began feeling the effects of this potion before I was done drinking it. Granted, it took me about 15 minutes to finish because it tasted so foul, but most potions for the mind taste bad, I find; Its almost a right of passage in my eyes. Still, this kicked in notably fast when compared to my other Datura experiences. My brother had a much easier time downing his yogurt mix. I find, even with a scientific and rational mind, I enjoy the ritualistic aspect of these experiences, so I tried to be as serious about it as I could. This was an exploration of the mind, not recreational intoxication.
About 15-20 Minutes after downing the potion I was already feeling very "drunk" and distended from my body. I hadn't even stood up from my original seat; I was just battling nausea. I had been fighting an incredible urge to purge since the first sip, and considering the sheer intensity of the confusion I was facing, I was abandoning the idea that I was going to peacefully meditate myself into another plane of thought... I didn't even make it to the bathroom. I purged right back into the pot I had prepared my brew in (before I even got a chance to stand up). I might be paranoid, but I think this may have saved my life. I faded out of memorable consciousness after stumbling to the bathroom.
Time doesn't make any sense. The notes I am writing don't seem to want to form together coherently . Im very confused... and uncomfortable. My stomach doesn't hurt anymore, which makes it much easier to think clearly… but I still feel very "drunk" and my skin feels incredibly... sharp? Im shaking, and I don't know why. It hurts to touch anything that's not completely smooth or soft. Touching anything with my hands or arms sends sharp pins and lighting bolts up my nerves. I think my throat is swelling up, and I am compulsively drinking water to ensure it doesn't close.. I am swallowing nothing constantly, just to ensure I can still swallow… trying to breath through my nose is easier. My throat might just be numb, and not swollen, but I cant tell... I fade out again…
I wake up sitting in the dark, apologizing to my blanket for being so intoxicated. I don't know how I got here. I am more self aware now, but cannot think clearly, as I seem to genuinely think my blanket is my ex-girlfriend, who had deflated into a pile of self aware skin and muscle, due to the disappointment she felt; she had always disapproved of my studies, and claimed I was always just trying to "get high" …She lays there, crumpled on my bed and starring at me disapprovingly with a morose look on her face... I hold her for a while, and apologize more… I fade out…
I decided to try and take a shower. I believe this was irresponsible and dangerous. It should have been obvious to me because the room was spinning, and I found it very difficult to walk (or function at all, for that matter). My legs just give out underneath me, and I fall in the hallway... over, and over.. Stumbling to find my placement, I fade out on my knees, staring at the carpet...
This fade seemed to happen quite a bit. I was slipping in and out of consciousness. With Datura, I still seem to function while Im out, as opposed to the more familiar nod associated with opiates. With an opiate I wake up right where I faded out, but with Datura, I wake up in a room I don't remember walking into, in the middle of doing things, or talking to people in contexts that dont' make any sense. Similar to a drunken psychosis.
I woke up in mid sentence, realizing I was talking to no one, but aware I had been talking for at least 5 minutes prior. I wonder who I must have been talking to... could it have been my brother? I then realize I am naked, shortly after that I realize Im in the shower with water running down my face. I had been talking to no one.. this was very interesting to me… I wonder what could have possibly caused me to slip in and out of "worlds" like this, with no real recollection of what I had been doing prior, or at least why I was doing it.
I fade out again, and wake up standing in the hall, with a sober brother of mine (3rd brother) asking me a question. I don't remember what I said, or what the question was, but he told me (the next day) that I had answered him coherently, even though the answer had nothing at all to do with the question. While I was in the shower the brother that had joined me on my adventure had woken my grandmother out of her sleep (it was about 2 in the morning) to inform her the "flower truck" was outside. Again, we live in the middle of nowhere. No flower truck, no neighbors, and It's not even daytime. I don't believe he saw a flower truck, but I do think he genuinely believed it was there when he told her.
I wake up, again, in mid sentence. I am am in my room, and having a conversation with some Cat-in-the-hat slippers that I have apparently placed on my bed, so the faces faced me. I guess so they could pay attention... I reached over to use my laptop to play some music, and nothing was there... I didn't have a laptop…. Why did I think one was there? I am still confused, my skin still tingles painfully, and my throat is still sore and closed at this point. This fade in- fade out, theme happened many many more times, and every time I woke up talking to an inanimate object or someone that wasn't there. Sometimes still genuinely believing the clock could understand what I was saying. This was a very mind oriented experience, not classically psychedelic at all.
The visuals are light but unique. Jagged changes in my environment take place throughout the trip (when the room isn't spinning). Corners and walls bend, and shake quickly then go back to normal, like something out of a horror movie. When the director flashes something weird on the screen for a few frames, and it goes away as fast as it arrived, is the closest thing I can compare it to (parts of a chair shaking against its own structure, in a way that should break it, but doesn't, for example). Probably… an even better analogy would be to compare it to fast glitching in a 3-d video game model. Ive seen nothing like it in other entheogens.
I finally have to give in to the drowsiness that has been chasing me the entire night. I go to bed shaking because I feel cold, but I wasn't. Everything I touch still feels like razors cutting into my skin, and I will continue drinking water every 3 minutes through out the night, while I am awake. I hear, while trying to lay in bed, auditory hallucinations that sound ominous and far away. Nothing to understand really… it seems like old trees moaning and whining in the distance, maybe as a way of communicating to eachother. "The language of the trees" I think, and I slip off to sleep easily enough. I wake up with a "hangover" the next day.
I would never do this again, for many reasons. Im glad, however, that I was able to experience it. I wish I could remember more of it. Even reading this wall of text, it doesn't seem to properly convey to you the experience... the weird almond taste in my mouth, the strange noises and thoughts that didn't seem to be my own, etc. Hours of adventure condensed into a few short paragraphs. I believe this was an irresponsible dose, and I had not understood the dangers of going so far in. I might just be paranoid, but I didn't know the seeds could be as toxic as they can be during the time of ingestion, or I would not have gone in do deep; it was poor research on my part. I would recommend the experience itself, but I ultimately would never recommend the dosage I took. With responsibility and caution it can be quite the experience, but I wouldn't expect it to be fun.
Submitted by - Salem
- Nausea - "I was just battling nausea. I had been fighting an incredible urge to purge since the first sip"
- Tactile enhancement - "Touching anything with my hands or arms sends sharp pins and lighting bolts up my nerves."
- External hallucinations - "genuinely think my blanket is my ex-girlfriend, who had deflated into a pile of self aware skin and muscle" "realizing I was talking to no one, but aware I had been talking for at least 5 minutes prior." "having a conversation with some Cat-in-the-hat slippers" "I reached over to use my laptop to play some music, and nothing was there" "genuinely believing the clock could understand what I was saying."
- Visual drifting - "Corners and walls bend, and shake quickly then go back to normal"
- Sedation - "the drowsiness that has been chasing me the entire night"
- Temperature regulation suppression - "I go to bed shaking because I feel cold, but I wasn't."
- Dehydration - "drinking water every 3 minutes through out the night"
- Auditory hallucinations - "it seems like old trees moaning and whining in the distance, maybe as a way of communicating to eachother"